My Star
by LC Marks
Summary: High school is hard enough, and sexuality is the least of Quinn's worries, at least, until Rachel shows up with a big secret. Rachel Berry/Quinn Fabray fic. Rated M for a reason.
1. Chapter 1: Feelings

**Okay so this is my first Glee fic, and what better way to start with a Faberry fic! This story starts out right after Mr. Schue took over the glee club. It's a little AU, since not much will actually play out the way it did in the show. No pregnant Quinn, sorry! :P This is just to get it up here, so there's a likely change that this chapter may completely change. Let me know what you think! Without your feedback I can't keep writing! (:**

"Move it, Berry," Quinn sneers, arm-in-arm with her latest boy toy, Finn Hudson. "She's so annoying," she complains to her impatient boyfriend as they walk away.

Rachel looks down, fighting tears once again. It was getting hard to deny. Her feelings were getting stronger with every dirty look. She was in love with Quinn Fabray. Being a traditional straight girl all her life, it was hard to deal with those kind of feelings. Did this mean she was a lesbian? Bi? Are these feelings even romantic?

She brushes her neat bangs back into place and continues walking. It was finally time for glee club. Glee was easily the best part of her day. She could see her friends, have fun, and do what she loved most: sing.

She's almost immediately joined by Mercedes Jones. "Hey, hun, what was that all about?" she asks, referring to the harsh command from Quinn.

"Oh, she was just trying to get through. I was in the way," Rachel lies. She'd never even think about saying something mean about Quinn.

"Didn't look like it," Mercedes sighs, barely audible. She's used to this strange behavior from her best friend. She wasn't sure why Quinn was such a sensitive topic for Rachel, but she respected it and avoided the subject as much as possible.

The two misfits walk in silence for a moment, until Rachel decides to pitch her new idea. "Wouldn't it be absolutely amazing for us to sing Kelly Clarkson's Because of You at sectionals?"

"That doesn't seem so great," Mercedes says, not unkindly.

"Why? There wouldn't be a dry eye in the place. People would be moved by our performance. I could sing lead, maybe Tina could be the main backup too. Her voice is pretty sinister, it could play up the sadness. I think-"

"It's a lovely song," Mercedes interjects, "but we're trying to play up our strengths, remember? Because of You is a great song to practice with, but we've all been thinking we should do some upbeat songs at sectionals. Mr. Schue wants to incorporate dancing into our performance," she replies. She's actually hoping she'd be the lead, not Rachel.

"Oh, I get it. We've got awhile until sectionals anyway, we'll figure something out," she concludes, still holding onto her idea.

The girls walk a little further until they reach the choir room, only to find a small crowd gathered outside the door.

"What's all this?" Mercedes asks, shoving her way through the angry glee clubbers. She finds a quickly scribbled note on the door.

_Sorry kids, no glee club today. Family emergency._

_-Mr. Schuester_

"Glee's cancelled today, Schuester had to be with his wife," Mike says bitterly, his arm tightly around Brittany's little waist.

Puck grabs Santana by the arm and hurries away. No Glee? Then Puck's ready to get his freak on.

"This isn't fair!" Rachel complains, "I had so many ideas to run!"

Kurt rolls his eyes. "Rachel. Family emergency, do you know what that means? It means someone in Mr. Schuester's family is sick or injured. Have some compassion." Kurt mocks Rachel's offended look and turns around.

He walks away, attempting to look sexy as he passes a rather attractive man. He was just Kurt's type: small but strong, clean cut, and nice.

Not surprisingly, the boy ignores him. Kurt's learned to accept that no one would ever like him that way at McKinley.

"Rachel, are you okay?" Mercedes asks her. She continues to stare at what seems to be nothing. But Rachel knows exactly what's happening. Quinn and Finn are fighting.

"Do you think they'll break up?" she asks, spaced out. She really wants them to.

"Who?" Mercedes asks, looking around.

"Quinn and Finn," she says, as if it was totally obvious. Mercedes peers in their direction, scoping out the situation.

"Eh, maybe. Finn's a nice guy, but Quinn goes through guys faster than Puck and Santana go through condoms," she says, shrugging. Rachel takes personal offense to the joke.

"It's just because everyone she dates is a pig! I respect that Quinn wants to wait until marriage," Rachel snaps, sticking up for the blonde.

"Don't get your panties in a bunch, hun, I'm just saying," she says back, turning on her sass.

"I'll see you tomorrow," Rachel says monotonously, dismissing Mercedes. She continues to stare at Quinn, lusting over her blonde hair, her long eyelashes. All Rachel wants is to be Quinn's girlfriend. Now she just needs to tell someone.

"Finn, I will not have sex with you!" Quinn whispers angrily. She will not let her reputation in the church get trashed. She treasured her virginity, and Finn wouldn't even be worth it.

"Quinn, we've been together for a month. You can't tell me you're not thinking about _it_," Finn argues. He's a teenage boy, of course he's eager to lose the big V.

"You're disgusting," she says, crossing her arms. Tears well up in her eyes as she sees the frustration on his face.

Finn clenches his jaw, looking at his girlfriend. This is the twenty-first century, he was not about to commit to a sexless relationship, especially with her. Quinn is hot, he can't handle being around a girl like her with all those temptations.

"I can't do this," he says, walking away.

Quinn stands still, shocked. No one's ever broke up with her before. She's the one who ends it, and that's that. She turns around and rushes down the almost empty halls, quickly followed by Rachel. She wants to comfort Quinn, but has no idea how. No words can make Quinn feel less betrayed. Finn was supposed to be it. She wanted to spend the rest of her life with him.

Rachel watches as Quinn's father get out of his BMW when he sees his distressed daughter. She rushes towards him, hugging him tightly. She can't hear what they're saying, but she can tell they have a good relationship. Rachel smiles, she's glad Quinn has someone to comfort her.

She walks past them, beginning her long walk home. Both of her dads work late, so she depends on rides from friends, but today she just wants to be alone.

She feels bad for Quinn, but a small part of her is overwhelmed with joy. _Quinn Fabray is single._ She knows she doesn't have a chance, but any glimmer of hope can give Rachel Berry something to strive for.


	2. Chapter 2: Confessions

**Sorry for the wait. x**

Quinn lays in bed, wondering why everything was suddenly turning to shit. Finn left her. Her mother can't even look her father in the eye, and worst of all, she gained three pounds since the breakup. Three pounds! It's only been a week, and she hasn't ate _that_ much chocolate. Or maybe she has. She's not quite sure, she's cried herself into delusion.

When she's just about to fall asleep for the first time in days, her computer lights up, nearly blinding her swollen eyes.

It's Rachel. Fantastic. Quinn rolls her eyes.

_Hello Quinn._

Did Rachel really just ruin any chance of sleep Quinn had to say _hi_? She better actually have something worthwhile to say. Quinn wipes a tear from her cheek and replies with a curtly.

_What do you want?_

Quinn almost immediately regrets it. There's no reason for her to be so mean to Rachel, the girl never did anything to her. She knows what it's like to be in Rachel's situation. Her mother puts her down every single day. In her mother's eyes, Quinn is nothing but a failure.

Another round of tears begin to well in Quinn's eyes when a new message from Rachel appears.

_I just wanted to see if you were okay. I saw what happened with Finn. It's not very fair to you, so I'm here for you if you ever need help._

Quinn furrows her eyebrows. Why the hell is Rachel offering comfort, out of everyone? Quinn was pretty sure that Rachel was a selfish, controlling diva, not the 'helping hand.'

_That's really sweet of you. Uh, I'm gonna go to sleep, but I'll talk later, bye._

Not really caring how nice or mean that came out, Quinn stumbles back to her bed to finally get some sleep.

Rachel nervously cracks her knuckles. What now? Quinn had actually been nice to her for once, that seems to be a start.

She peers at the clock, wondering how much time she had left until she has to wake up and see Quinn in person.

Four-thirty in the morning. Great, she just spent the whole night trying to find something to say to a girl who doesn't give a damn about her. She's going to be a wreck tomorrow.

There's no use getting any sleep now, so Rachel decides to just go ahead and take get dressed. Usually, she'd just throw on a sweater and a skirt, but today was different. She needed to look absolutely stunning.

The only so-called "sexy" items Rachel owned were now laying out on her bed. A black lacy camisole which she'd only wore under her clothes, and a pair of dark-wash jeans from when she was thirteen. They were sure to be extra tight now. She put it on, hoping she looked okay.

Peering in the mirror, she didn't really feel dressed. Attempting to find whatever other mature piece of clothing in her wardrobe, she stumbles across a cropped red leather jacket. Where did this come from? She'd never worn it. Oh well, it was perfect and Rachel actually felt hot in it.

To complete this foreign look, she curled her hair and tousled it until she felt she had the sexy biker chick vibe. She could only pray that it would work.

Quinn sighed heavily as her alarm went off. One hour of sleep and she was supposed to get up, learn and socialize? She'd like to see that happen.

Unfortunately, she's freshly single, which means she needs to work twice as hard on her appearance. She slips into her usual cheerleading outfit. Her hair and makeup's a different story. She spent an hour putting herself together, making herself appear perfect on the outside to anyone who cared.

She'd find someone new. One day of Finn grief isn't even worth it, he was probably already looking for a new girl to satisfy his barbaric needs.

Ugh, sex. Quinn wished she could be like everyone else and make love with a boy she truly cares about, but she made a promise to God. Virginity was His biggest gift to her, and she wouldn't throw it away.

Or at least she liked to tell herself that.

Rachel beams as she walks through the halls of McKinley. Today all eyes are on her for once. No one can actually understand what happened.

"Woah, Berry, finally get potty-trained?" Dave Karofsky, a stereotypical football player shouts at her, wiggling his eyebrows.

Rachel ignores the crude comment and keeps walking. Despite the fact that she can hardly walk in these heels, she feels on top of the world. Quinn can't ignore her now, not when she looks like this.

It's the best feeling ever.

"Hey, hun. What happened to you? You look like a hooker! The good kind, of course, but still. Why are you dressed so sexy?" Mercedes says, racing to meet up with Rachel.

"I'm dressed to impress, 'Cedes," she replies, flashing a winning smile at a confused group of JV hockey players.

Mercedes stops, pulling Rachel aside. "Dressed to impress? Who, may I ask, is the lucky man?" she asks enthusiastically.

Rachel sighs. If only it was that simple. Should she tell Mercedes? After all, she is her best friend, and there's no doubt that she can be trusted. But Rachel doesn't need to be judged. But Mercedes would never judge her.

"The thing is…well, it's not for a boy," Rachel says, feeling her cheeks burn red. She had hardly accepted her feelings, and here she was already admitting them to someone else. Was it a mistake?

"What do you mean?" Mercedes asks in response, completely missing the point.

"Mercedes, I think I'm a lesbian."

"You sure?"

"Yes, I'm pretty sure," she confirms for not only Mercedes, but herself as well.

"Well then who's the lucky girl?" she asks, smiling and giving her best friend an impatient punch on the shoulder.

Rachel beams. Mercedes had accepted her for who she was, and in her mind that meant everyone else would too. "It's Quinn. Quinn Fabray. I think I'm in love with her."

Mercedes raises her eyebrows. "Wow, you're aiming pretty high, but I think with this new look it could work. Want me to talk to her for you?" Mercedes offers, remaining completely calm.

A flicker of excitement flashes in Rachel's eyes. "Would you really do that?" she asks enthusiastically.

Mercedes chuckles at her passion. "Anything for you Rachel, you and Quinn are my best friends, if you two were on good terms, we would be like the Three Musketeers," she answers, proud of Rachel for spilling her true feelings.

"Wouldn't that be great," Rachel agrees, imagining herself, hand-in-hand with Quinn, spending the day just the three of them. It really would be perfect.

"Well I'm gonna go have a little chat with her, okay? And don't get yourself into any trouble. You have no idea what guys are saying about your new look," Mercedes says, dismissing Rachel.

Quinn strolled the halls, accompanied by the usual Brittany and Santana, who were currently chatting about how hard it is to keep up with the sexual demands of Puck and Mike. She felt left out.

"Oh, look, Britt. There they are!" Santana says pointing them out. "Ew, why are they with Mercedes?"

They don't linger on the thought too long, and before Quinn can say anything, the two girls are glued to their boyfriends' mouths.

"I need to have a little chat with you," Mercedes declares, pulling the confused blonde into the choir room.

"What?" Quinn asks, doubting Mercedes' sanity.

She gulps, wondering how to launch this conversation. She didn't want to scare Quinn, but she needs to make sure her point was understood.

"Did you notice anything different about Rachel today?" Mercedes says awkwardly, attempting to make it sound like an innocent question.

Quinn looks at Mercedes, furrowing her eyebrows. It seemed strange that Mercedes would bring up Rachel. She had just talked to her for the first time in years without fighting last night. "Uh, yeah, I guess. It looks like she finally put on some big girl clothes," Quinn says, trying to determine the route of this arbitrary question.

"Oh, well she dressed like that today on purpose," she says, hoping Quinn would realize what she meant.

Before Quinn could process what Mercedes had said, someone giggles out from the storage room. Quinn whips her head around. "What was that?" she asks frantically, fearing the worst. What if it was Finn with some new girl?

"Oh, hell to the no," Mercedes says flatly when she sees who it is.

"Oh shit," a frantic Will Schuester swears as he hides behind an old drumset.

"Mr. Schu? Miss Pillsbury?" Quinn asks, wondering if what she's seeing is real. She was pretty sure that Mr. Schuester was happily married. Is anyone good these days?

The two adults cover their faces in shame, and shut the door, blocking Mercedes and Quinn out.

As soon as Mercedes is done thinking about that little incident for the moment, and ready to resume their conversation about Rachel, the bells rings, informing the two girls that they're late to class.


	3. Chapter 3: Denial

The school was filled with excitement; it was the day before Christmas break. Teachers gave out candy, and students were dressed up. It looked like a red and green bomb had hit the McKinley.

Santana Lopez and Noah Puckerman walked the halls, hand-in-hand.

"Sweetheart, you look ridiculous," Santana hissed in Puck's ear, smiling at some gawking freshman. They couldn't keep their eyes off the couple.

"San, I've got a naughty Santa suit on. It's not ridiculous, it makes sense. Your name is Santana, that's almost Santa, and since you decided to dress up like a hooker elf, I took the liberty of being Santa. Babe, it makes perfect sense!" Puck explains, winking at Dave Karofsky, a fellow member of the football team, as he slid his hand down his girlfriend's back.

"I don't look like a hooker!" Santana shouts, shoving Puck against a locker.

He smiles, looking down at her skimpy elf costume. "You're right. I'm sorry I said that, babe,"  
he apologizes, kissing her on the cheek.

Santana looks him in the eye, beaming. "It's okay. Why don't we take a little trip down to the janitor's closet and find out how naughty Santa really is?"

* * *

Rachel brushes her bangs aside and rushes to catch up with her best friend. "Mercedes, wait!" she shouts across the hallway.

She rushes up to her, yanking on her pink Santana hat and smiling ecstatically.

"Hey, hun. Why so excited?" Mercedes asks, slowing down her strut.

"I'm nervous! How did the conversation with Quinn go?" Rachel asks enthusiastically, practically singing the question. She'd been curious to know how the confrontation had went. She had thought up a thousand scenarios in her head, each one as crazy as the next, but she really didn't have a clue what to expect.

Mercedes looks around, trying to figure out how to put her thoughts into words. "Well, we didn't actually get to talk about it much," she admits.

"What do you mean?" Rachel asks, frantic.

"Well, let's just say we we're right when we drew that picture of Mr. Schu and Miss Pillsbury when we were freshman," Mercedes replies awkwardly.

"Too much information, 'Cedes!" Rachel shouts, trying to shake the image of the two adults, ahem, _getting it on_.

The girls laugh, masking their disgust.

Mercedes begin to look grim. "I'm really sorry I didn't get to tell her," she apologizes weakly. She's is still mad at herself for disappointing a friend.

"Don't be, hun, you gave it a shot. Promise to try again?" Rachel asks, smiling and holding out her pinky finger.

The two girls laugh and make a pinky promise: something they'd been doing since as long as they can remember.

"Of course," Mercedes finally answers. The two walk off, still giggly.

* * *

Quinn slams her locker angrily. Why did Mercedes ask her about _Rachel?_ Of all people, why her? First the whole instant messaging incident, now this? Something was up, and Quinn would not stop until she found out. She hated when people were weird with her, she just wants the facts.

Speak of the devil, there goes Mercedes and, erm, _her_. They're walking and laughing and it sickens her. Determined to find out the whole Rachel situation, Quinn catches Mercedes just as she gets in her car.

"Oh come on, Quinn, I was almost free!" she jokes, setting her schoolbooks down in the driver's seat, then standing up to face the blonde.

"What's going on with Rachel?" Quinn says flat-out, not even acknowledging her best friend's joke.

Mercedes looks down, wondering how to say what she needs to. "Have you ever, like, you know..." she stutters.

"Are you suggesting that I...Mercedes, I'm a Christian!" Quinn shouts stupidly.

Quinn fumes, causing Mercedes to collapse in giggles. "That's not what I meant, babe, I know you're a goody-goody!"

"Oh..." Quinn says quietly, silently laughing. "Then what do you mean?"

"It's about Rachel," Mercedes says, attempting to slowly push Quinn into talking about this. She knows her, if she says it flat-out, she'll be frightened by it.

"Okay? What about her?" Quinn says awkwardly, ignoring the slight tugging in her stomach. She'd always been strangely jealous of Rachel and her talent, it almost pained her to even mention the name.

"Do you think she's pretty?" Mercedes asks, innocent enough.

Quinn looks down, sad. Of course she thinks Rachel's pretty. She's always looks perfect, even without makeup or anything. Quinn had to get a freaking nose job to feel good about herself, and Rachel could feel lovely even with that giant thing on her face! It's just not fair.

"Yeah, she's gorgeous. Not as pretty as me though, obviously. Why?" Quinn lies, feeling the pressure of a headache build behind her eyes. Jealousy made her break out, too. This was not good.

"Oh, um...she thinks you're pretty too," Mercedes stutters weirdly. She's not quite sure how to word something like this.

"Is there a point to this conversation?" Quinn asks rudely, wondering what the cause of all this might actually be. In fact, it was bugging her more than it should.

"She thinks you're _really_ pretty. As in...well, she likes you."

Quinn feels her stomach drop. There's no way Mercedes meant what she thought she meant, right? Rachel is a girl, there's no way she had a, erm, crush on her. "I'm not quite sure what you mean, Cedes."

"Oh, screw it. I mean she _likes_ you. She's got a crush. She wants to date you. Quinn, she's a lesbian," Mercedes blurts. Her patience ran out, Quinn was just being way too naïve for her taste.

"What?" she yells, taking a few steps back.

Quinn refused to believe it. Sure, she thought Rachel was pretty—gorgeous in fact—and extremely talented, but girlfriend material? Girlfriend? She didn't like girls like that, she shouldn't be thinking like this!

"Just think about it. Talk to her, maybe she'll be able to explain things," Mercedes closes, getting her car and pulling away.

"What the hell?" Quinn screams, but Mercedes is gone.

There's no way she could ever like Rachel that way. What would people think of her? Maybe if Rachel was a guy, things would work, but—wait, was she really thinking this? Being with Rachel shouldn't even be something to consider. It's crazy talk.

She needed to do something to get all of this out of her head. Picking up her phone, she dialed a number she was so used to dialing, her fingers typed it instinctively.

"Hello? Quinn?" a familiar voice said, like poison.

"I considered what you said, Finn. I think I'm _ready_."

"Ready? Are you sure?" he asks, with a mixture of excitement and fright in his voice.

"Yeah, babe. Meet me outside the Cheerios' locker room, I got the key," she says, attempting to be seductive. She felt extremely awkward.

"Uh, okay, yeah, alright. I'll be there," he stutters frantically before hanging up the phone. He scrambles around his room, shutting off his Xbox and grabbing a pair of jeans. Pulling them on, he rushes downstairs and out the door, yelling, "Bye, Mom!"

He didn't understand why, but God had blessed him with this opportunity and there was absolutely no way he would deny it.

* * *

Quinn looked down at herself, wondering how she could do this. Her entire life has revolved around her devotion to God, and she was about to throw that all away. Somehow, it barely mattered. She needed to prove to herself that she could be with a guy, and that she had no feelings at all whatsoever for Rachel Berry.

She popped a tic-tac when she saw Finn walk through the gym's double doors. She'd never forgotten when he told her that his biggest turn-off is bad breath.

"Hey, Q!" he shouts childishly across the gym and runs towards her.

Her cheeks burn red. Did he seriously just do that? "Shush, Finn! We could get caught!" she whispers once he's close enough.

"Oh, sorry babe," he apologizes, kissing her softly on the cheek.

She smiles softly. "Should we, uh..." she says awkwardly, gesturing towards the locker room doors.

"Oh, yeah, totally!" he says enthusiastically, causing Quinn to feel involuntarily disgusted.

She fumbles through her purse for a few seconds before finally finding her red and white bedazzled key. "Okay," she whispers opening the heavy door and letting herself and Finn into the large, over-decorated locker room.

She almost felt like she was betraying not only God, but Coach Sylvester. She always encouraged the Cheerios to stay away from boys, with the exception of Santana, who is "the slut every cheerleading squad needs". Coach Sylvester wasn't very happy when she found out Santana had been tied down by Puck.

But, really, who cares? Quinn is her own person, if she wants to sleep with Finn, she can. And she will.

On that thought, she embraced Finn, kissing him harder than she'd ever had. If she was going to do this, she'd do it right. He stumbled back a little, surprised by Quinn's force.

"Woah," he whispers as she pushes him down onto a bench, taking his leather jacket off.

* * *

"Calm down, Rach, she'll come to her senses! She's probably at home right now trying to figure out how to ask you out," Mercedes lies for the sake of Rachel. She couldn't tell her about the look of fear and confusion on Quinn's face when she told her. It would break Rachel's heart.

Mercedes had rushed straight to Rachel's house after her talk with Quinn. It really pained her to see her best friend so excited about something Mercedes was sure would never happen.

"Really, you think so?" she says hopefully, looking foolish.

Mercedes smiles kindly, avoiding any eye contact. "Of course, you're a talented, beautiful girl and anyone would be lucky to have you."

"Thank you, Cedes, that really means a lot," Rachel says, beaming. "I'm just glad Finn is out of the picture, Quinn was hung up on him for much too long."

* * *

"No," Quinn cries, quickly pulling her uniform back on.

"What? What's wrong? Did I hurt you?" Finn asks, rushing towards her.

She pushes him away, collapsing in tears. "We shouldn't have done that. Oh my god, Finn, I'm a slut. I'm a dirty slut and nobody's ever going to like me."

She falls to the ground, shaking with sobs.

Finn walks towards her, pulling his shirt back on. "Quinn, baby. You're not a slut. And I won't tell anyone, I promise. This has been the best day of my life, Q. I am so in love with you, and I finally got to prove it. Don't you feel the same?" Finn admits, sitting down next to a mess of a Quinn.

"But Rachel..." she says, looking him in the eyes.

Finn nearly chokes. There's no way she could know how he felt about Rachel. Well, it's barely anything. He thinks she's hot, and she's pretty talented, but other than that, it's nothing. "What—what do you mean?"

"She likes me."

"Oh, cool, you guys are friends now?" Finn asks, grinning. He didn't know why it was relevant to the conversation, but it was pretty awesome that the girls were getting along.

"No, Finn. She _likes_ me, catch my drift?" Quinn says, as if talking to a little kid.

Finn's jaw drops. "No way in hell!" he whisper excitedly.

Quinn looks at him disapprovingly.

"Well, there's no way you like her back, right? I thought you loved me! We just made love, you must love me! Quinn..." Finn rambles, feeling his heart sink.

"You really think you love me? Finn, even you can admit it: We're only together because your the quarterback and I'm the head cheerleader. What if I was a loser? You wouldn't even look at me," she says truthfully. It's hard to admit, but sometimes Quinn thought being Lucy was easier. She might've been overweight and ugly, but at least she knew how people really felt about her.

"Does this mean we're over for good?" Finn asks sadly, trying with all his power not to cry.

"Yes, Finn. I need time to think. Of course I like you, but now...now I just don't know. I can't like Rachel that way, she's a _girl_. But I still have these feelings. They've always been there...I just never knew what they were," Quinn admits. It was finally dawning on her why she had always hated Rachel so much. It wasn't because she was more talented or more beautiful, it was just because she was denying these feelings.

She didn't know if she was ready to act on these feelings or even tell anyone, but there was one thing she knew for sure. She had feelings for Rachel Berry, and they weren't going away anytime soon.

* * *

**A/N: Hi guys! Sorry this took forever, but I had no idea what to write. You can expect quicker updates now, since summer break is coming closer and closer! :) Thank you. Reviews are appreciated. Bye!**


	4. Chapter 4: Fantasy

"She was...angry?" Rachel whimpered. She tilted back in her chair and groaned, plagued by the feelings of rejection.

"Yeah, I'm so sorry Rach."

Both girls had gotten to the choir room early that morning, purely a coincidence. Mercedes had by accident, Rachel did with the excitement that maybe Quinn had found out, and she'd be there early too. In the half hour Rachel was without Mercedes, she'd come to the conclusion that Quinn would actually just arrive on time with everyone else, and profess her feelings in a solo, in front of everyone. In fact, she was sure that's how it would go.

But that didn't seem so hopeful now.

"So she just yelled when you told her? And you drove away?"

Mercedes pouted her lower lip and nodded, feeling miserable about the whole thing. She felt like she provoked the entire workup. "I didn't want to fight with her over it. I could tell she needed some time to think." She watched as Rachel threw her head back and shook with silent tears. She took her best friend into her arms, whispering words of comfort.

Twenty minutes before the first bell, Brad walked in, not bothering to acknowledge either of them as he sat down at his piano and began to practice.

Mercedes shot him a look of hatred and pulled away from Rachel, standing up. "Come on, girlie, no girl or boy or anything should get you down. Let's warm up," she said and smiled, humming her own warm-up rituals.

Rachel looked up at her and got up, a painful lump still lingering in her throat. It'd be no problem to sing through her tears; she was used to it. She just wasn't sure she'd be able to hide her emotions once she saw Quinn.

The girls made it through every vocal exercise twice before anyone arrived. The first to come in was Puck and Santana, an unusual surprise. Rachel and Mercedes stopped singing as they walked in, figuring if they did any more, their voices would be tired before class even started. They were also quite confused as to why the two were actually on time.

"Oh, stop, we we're just hoping for an empty room to make out in," Santana snapped in response to Mercedes' questioning look. She scowled bitterly before adding, "but you guys ruined that, didn't you?"

Rachel wordlessly sat down in her usual front-and-center seat, a stiff grimace twisting her features. She was desperately hoping Quinn would come late, or maybe not at all. She was sure her performance would suffer with such a distraction, but that doesn't even compare to the amount of embarrassment this whole situation was causing. She was ready to just leave at this point.

Then she heard something that snapped her right back into reality.

"Finn got dumped?"

The winning words came right out of Santana's disbelieving lips. "No fucking way."

Puck nodded, the thought entertained him. "He came to my house right after. Said she hit it and quit it. You know, but in more words," he told her, thinking he was being quiet.

It took everything in her to not whip her head around and ask for details, but Rachel was smart. All she had to do was eavesdrop. Puck would tell Santana everything she needed to know.

"There's no way in hell Quinn would lose her virginity. She's waiting till marriage. And anyway, they broke up the other day," Santana said and crossed her arms, not quite believing her boyfriend. She knew Quinn better than anyone.

"Oh, but she did. She called him up last night randomly and they did the nasty right in the Cheerio's locker room. Finn's got no idea why. But fuck, he's a dude. Of course he's gonna tap that."

Rachel winced at the way they talked about her. Quinn was a beautiful, wholesome girl. Not a piece of "tap-worthy" meat. Besides that, her feelings were conflicted. At first, she was overwhelmed with the joy that Finn and Quinn were over for good this time. But the knowledge of their hookup made a whole new wave of tears wash over her. She felt like her and Quinn were the only virgins left at this school, and she thought it was something special. It made her feel incredibly lonely.

"But they were broken up," Santana practically shouted in his face, enunciating every word like she was speaking to a baby.

"I know, oh my God. Finn said they weren't totally broken up, they were just like...in a fight. But then she booty-called him and I guess she regretted it, so she dumped his ass forever."

Santana shrugged and muttered something in Spanish.

Brittany wandered in next. "I can't find Mike," she said idly, before interlocking pinkies with Santana and sitting down beside her.

Rachel slumped in her seat, watching the rest of the members file in. Finn came in right on time, looking disheveled. He was one of the last to arrive, so there was no awkwardness there. The bell finally rang right after his arrival, and Quinn still wasn't there. Rachel was completely relieved.

"Maybe she's not here today," she whispered to Mercedes, patiently waiting for her conversation with Kurt to end.

"Quinn never misses school," Mercedes said indifferently and turned back to Kurt, obviously not interested in whatever she had to say next.

Rachel never felt more alone.

As it turns out, Quinn was in school. She arrived to class about ten minutes late, accompanied by a wide-eyed Miss Pillsbury.

It was quite obvious she had been crying, but somehow Rachel still couldn't ignore how beautiful she still looked. She never understood it, but the fact that the girl was in open distress made Rachel's feelings even deeper.

Quinn made her way to her seat next to Brittany and sat down, her entire body sore, but numb at the same time. A lonely tear ran down her cheek when she glanced at Finn. Even in the midst of things, she was suddenly more aware of her appreciation for waterproof mascara.

Her green eyes searched the room for any distraction at all, but they kept falling back onto Rachel and Finn. She just felt so dirty, like no amount of showers could wash off the layer of visible grime. First, she was thinking of other girls in a romantic way, then before she knew it she'd lost her virginity. _In high school. _What would her parents think?

Before she could even make sense of her jumbled thoughts, the ending bell rang. She rushed out, avoiding anyone who tried to talk to her, even Mr. Schuester. She needed to be far away from everyone. Thankfully, given her past, she had the perfect hiding spot.

She practically ran to the empty gym. All she had to do was climb up the bleachers, and she had instant access to the skylight leading to the roof. She spent a few moments searching for any signs of Coach Sylvester. Nothing. She was alone.

She ran up the bleachers, a simple task thanks to her tip-top cheerleading training. Once she got to the top of the steps, she mustered up all her strength and lifted herself up and out. An instant breeze chilled her and her stomach dropped when she saw the height, even if she was only three stories up.

But she finally had what she needed today. Solitude. She breathed a sigh of relief and walked to the edge of the roof, looking out at the entirety of Lima.

"Rachel," she whispered faintly, the words rolling off her tongue so naturally. The girl who ruined everything, but also the girl who seemed to be starting everything. She laid down on the concrete and shut her eyes.

The back of her eyelids haunted her with memories of last night. Finn's twisted laughter as she slid out of her uniform. Him touching her in places no one had ever touched. The pain of losing her virginity. Finn finishing off before Quinn had even began to enjoy it.

Those images quickly faded into visions of her and Rachel. The two girls, walking hand-in-hand down the hallways like any others. No one would even think twice about hating on them, because everyone was too distracted by how perfect they were together. They'd be glee club's new power couple, and Mr. Schue would finally give her the leads

Innocent visions turned into much less ladylike ones. Quinn smirked, unable to keep her thoughts from wondering what the real Rachel looked like, behind the sweaters and plaid skirts. Her mind traced out every curve and detail of Rachel's body. She used everything she knew, down to the familiar vanilla scent. She let herself fill in the blanks. Were her breasts small and perky like hers? Or larger and round like the rest of the Cheerios'? She bit her lip and pictured every little quirk and perfection the girl would have.

Before she knew it, her hand was wandering down to the hem of her cheerleading skirt. She had no doubts that she was alone, and that she would remain alone, so she let herself explore. Her fingers slipped into her panties and began to feel herself, still feeling sore from the previous night. It was different though; it felt nicer when it was just her against herself. There was perks of being a Christian: she knew how to get all the sexual pleasure she needed with just a finger.

She quickened the pace of her strokes, her mind littered with visuals and thoughts of Rachel Berry. She reached her other hand up to her mouth to stifle her own moans, vaguely afraid someone would hear her. Her hand moved viciously fast, fantasizing that one day Rachel would be the one doing this to her.

The ideas and visions brought her closer and closer to ecstasy, until she couldn't keep quiet anymore. Her body cramped up in orgasm and one loud moan slipped out, leaving her limp and satisfied.

She rolled onto her side and looked out at the small town once more, realizing one thing: she was undeniably attracted to Rachel, and she didn't give a flying fuck what anyone thought. She absolutely needed her.

**A/N: ...And now this is an M-rated story. Sorry kiddos! And once again, sorry for the wait.**


	5. Chapter 5: Misunderstanding

Quinn skirted through the halls, mortified and ashamed by her actions. Rachel, Rachel, Rachel. It was all she could think about. Her thoughts ranged vastly from innocent to dirty, no matter where she was. Class. Lunch. Passing. No matter what she was doing or who she was talking to, the girl was on her mind.

It was breaking her from the inside out.

The constant preoccupation was pushing her deeper and deeper into her own twisted depression. It was only a matter of time until someone noticed how different she was acting, and once they found out why, Quinn would be the laughingstock of McKinley high school.

Thankfully, an obscure strand of dumb luck had somehow kept the nosiest person in the world from noticing. Santana, who could even tell when the temperature dropped a degree, was still blinded from Quinn losing her virginity. Her judgment was off.

"I still can't believe it. What kind of Christian are you?" she gushed jokingly, but the statement hit a soft spot of Quinn's.

"I don't know," she answer feebly, retreating. She looked back at her busywork and answered a few problems, sighing periodically.

Silence swept over the two, but that, by no means, meant the room was quiet as well. The continuous buzzing of chatter always kept their secrets safe.

And Quinn had a very big secret.

She decided it was best to approach certain dilemmas discreetly, so Santana wouldn't be able to catch onto the real issue.

"Santana, do you ever think about Puck?" she asked vacantly, after a few moments of mustering up the courage to ask. She tried her hardest to sound casual.

Santana shot Quinn a mean look. "Um, obviously?" she answered, looking at her as if she was the stupidest person she'd ever met.

"Not just in general, San," she nudged, trying to hint at it in her voice. "Like...sexually." Quinn shifted uncomfortably, keeping her voice low.

"No shit."

"But, like, at really inappropriate times. Like in class, or Cheerio's practice."

"Yeah, I guess. But that's what the janitor's closet is for," she said and crossed something out on her paper idly. She looked up, an idea dawning on her. "Why? Are _you_ fantasizing about my boyfriend right now?"

"Oh my God, no," she blurted, almost snorting. If only she knew.

Santana began scribbling angrily on her work. "Good, because if you were, I'd probably have to kick your pretty little ass all the way to La-fucking-fayette." She looked over at Quinn and gave her a sickly sweet smile.

Sometimes Quinn questioned why she was even friends with her.

"Whatever. Who's the to-hotty you've been wet dreaming about?" Santana asked after she cooled down a bit.

"I can't really tell you that."

Santana rolled her eyes. "Don't fuck with me, Fabray," she told her bluntly.

"I can't tell you, honestly. It'd ruin things."

Santana groaned and dropped her head onto the table, completely giving up on her classwork and devoting her energy to figuring this out.

"But you have to. I tell you everything, and you're my best friend. You're obligated to tell me."

Quinn rolled her eyes. "I don't _have_ to tell anyone anything. I'll let you figure it out on your own," she said and smiled triumphantly. She had something to hold over her for as long as she wanted. "But I will tell you one thing: they're in glee club."

"Ohoho, a glee affair?"

She blushed and looked down, thanking God that Santana couldn't read thoughts. "An affair of all sorts, San. You've got no idea."

Santana opened her mouth to question her, but the bell rang, cutting her off. She cursed under her breath.

Quinn laughed at her frustration, feeling relieved. At least she could wait a few more hours before the interrogations began again. She left the room quicker than ever.

* * *

Tears fell openly down Rachel's face as she scrolled through Quinn's Facebook page, whimpering at every status.

_ 'I don't know what to think anymore.'_

Rachel was doubtless. Quinn had been talking about her, and her stupid girlcrush. Nobody's gay at McKinley. Everyone knows that.

How could she have been so naive?

She dropped her hairbrush on the ground carelessly and shut off her computer, completely skipping her daily MySpace post for the first time in months. She just wasn't in the mood for singing tonight.

Just the simple though made her heart ache with hopelessness. Singing had always been her one escape, no matter what was happening to her. And Quinn had taken even that away.

How could it be that a girl she hardly knew had stolen so much from her? It's not like they'd ever really spoken. In fact, Rachel was sure at least ninety percent of their confrontations ended in a slushy facial.

She lolled her head to the side to check the clock. _5:30 AM. _Another sleepless night, just what she needed.

She pulled herself out of her chair and shut off the computer, sighing with each movement. It took her a moment to decide whether to even bother going to school or not, but she knew she had to. Perfect attendance is the highest of honors.

* * *

"Kurt, I'm being serious," Quinn pestered, a frown morphing her features as he continued to laugh. She desperately asked him to stop. "And you can't tell _anyone_. Not even your teddy bear, or I'll make sure everyone sees this." She took out a photo she managed to steal from Coach Sylvester's extensive background files. It was a photo of Kurt, about two years younger than he was now, clad in nothing but a tight pair of daisy dukes and red stilettos.

Kurt's joy quickly twisted into a look of horror. He decided not to ask where or how she came across that photo. "Sorry, Q. I just find it very hard to believe that you, of all people, are gay," he told her honestly.

At first, it had been very surprising to Kurt that Quinn had confided in him, considering their quiet past. He had always had his suspicions that Quinn was homophobic and didn't like him because of that, given her strong dedication to Christianity, but this confession proved him wrong. It was shocking.

It made sense now, however. He was the only out kid at the school, and she had blackmail to hold against him. He was the perfect secret-keeper.

"Why?" she asked, offended, not exactly expecting denial from him. She continued before he could answer. "I dated Finn because he's the quarterback, and I'm the head cheerleader. He's cute, yeah, but he doesn't exactly have what I want."

Kurt stifled his laughter. "What, a vagina?" he snorted, unable to refrain.

She gasped, her cheeks burning with shame. "Wow, classy," she sighed and shook her head. "I was going more on the emotional level. I've always felt comfortable be friendly with guys, but nothing more."

"Maybe you're just not ready to date."

"No, I am. I just never realized why it felt wrong, because my parents never even let me consider that as an option. I'd never actually explored the, er, possibility until recently."

"What made you realize it?"

Quinn debated telling him for a moment, wondering if he was trustworthy or not. Part of her knew he wouldn't tell, because even she knew how many secrets that boy was holding right now. And she had the photo. But a sneaking feeling made her believe he'd go running if he found out she had feelings for his biggest enemy.

"Mini skirts," she joked, hoping he wouldn't ask any further questions.

Kurt smiled and pushed his hair back. "I hear you, girl. Skinny jeans really helped me come to terms with my sexuality..." he trailed, checking out the behind of a passing football player.

She giggled silently, thankful that Kurt had been able to put her in a good mood for the first time in days.

"I'd better get going, Schue's already pissed at me for ironing my jacket in class yesterday," he said, pulling her in for a warm hug. "I'm glad you told me, even though you're holding an open threat over me."

She hugged him back and smiled widely. "I'll burn the photo, unless you want it back, that is."

"Dear sweet Jesus, no. Some things are better left to forget," he said in all seriousness. He pulled away from her. "I'll be here if you need any support. Remember, I went through the same thing."

Quinn fought back tears. She wasn't at all ready to go through this, even if she had support. She still appreciated the gesture. "Thanks, Kurt."

"My pleasure, madame."

The two walked their separate ways, failing to notice a wide-eyed Santana watching their every move.

**A/N: I'm not sure if I'm going to continue this, because it's getting very little feedback, and it's rather hard to write. I also don't feel like it's my best work, either. Let me know what you think? Reviews make the angels smile.**


	6. Chapter 6: Confrontations

**A/N: So this chapter was intended to be much longer and better, but I just couldn't change what I originally wrote. Regardless, I hope you'll like it! Also, since a few people were wondering, Faberry is going to be endgame, no matter what happens.**

**Thank you for all your reviews on the last chapter. Keep them coming! Reviews are a writer's crack. :)**

"I just don't get it. I did everything I could, and she...she...I'm so confused, man!"

Puck sat back and listened carefully, patient as his best friend paced across his small living room. Although he couldn't really empathize, he was all ears to keep up with Finn's story. From his point of view, Finn needed to get over Quinn and move on to someone who could actually make him happy, without all the strings.

"Yeah, well, I don't really ever have that problem with Santana, you know. It's because you chose Quinn. What did you expect?" Puck took a deep breath and continued, after a puzzled look from Finn. "She's a hardcore Jesus freak. Of course she's gonna get pissed when you take away her purity."

Finn blinked a few times, nodding at Puck's statement. His eyebrows weaved into a confused expression. "Isn't Santana a Christian too?"

"Her family is, but do you really thing she gives a shit about religion?"

Finn continued to pace, too deep in thought to care about Santana's religious views. He took a deep, frustrated breath. "I just thought she'd be okay with it. She was the one who wanted to do it in the first place. I thought it meant we were back together. I thought it meant I was _special_."

Puck nodded and gestured with his hand, urging him to continue.

"It's not like it was that good anyway. She just, er, we did it and two seconds later it was over," Finn recited nervously, cracking his knuckles. "When we finished, she didn't stay. She mumbled something about berries, I think, and ran off. She left her hair elastic...I've been wearing it around my wrist ever since." He looked down at it, knowing it was pathetic, but it smelled just like her. He didn't want to let it go.

"That's kinda weird, bro," Puck mumbled, flaring his nostrils. "But are you sure she wasn't saying something about _Rachel _Berry, not actual berries? Santana told me Quinn was acting funny, like she said she was diggin' someone in the glee club or something. I thought it was me first, because she wouldn't tell San, but after I thought it through...do you think Quinn and Rachel are, like, together?" Puck finished questioningly.

Finn's eyes widened and he stopped pacing, only to begin pacing again a few seconds later. He shrugged. "Nah, man. I doubt it."

Puck raised his hand in agreement. "You're right, stuff that awesome never happens around here."

"Yeah. Thanks for calming me down though, bro. I needed it."

Puck smiled mischievously and pat Finn on the back. "I never said my services were free."

"What do you want?" Finn asked, confused.

"I need to break things off with Santana. I'm into someone else." Puck raised his eyebrows and looked at Finn. "Stuff that awesome _can_ happen around here, if you catch my drift."

"Hey, Quinn, why'd you shave off your beard?"

Santana laughed at her own snarky joke and walked by Quinn, making sure everyone noticed her and her beautiful stab at Quinn.

The already-stressed look on Quinn's face turned into one of pure horror. "What did you just say?" she shrieked, running after Santana.

"Oh, c'mon, you heard me, Q! You shaved off your beard, your _big gay beard_. I assume this means you're ready to tell everyone?"

Before anyone could actually hear anything, she yanked Santana's arm, pulling her into a vacant classroom.

"You're not going to pull a move on me, are you?" Santana questioned sarcastically. "Cause I'm not really into that."

Quinn flushed with anger and let go of her friend's arm. "What are you talking about?"

Santana put on a permanent smirk. "I'm talking about your little girlcrush on me, Q." She rolled her eyes and continued. "It's kind of obvious. I mean, at first I was convinced you wanted Puckerman, but then I overheard you and Kurt talking about gay you are."

"What?" Quinn covered, quivering with fear. She was completely sure this situation couldn't get any worse if she tried.

"Don't act like you don't know what I'm talking about. I know you want a lick of this lovin' and truth is, you're not getting it."

"I don't want a 'lick you this lovin'"...I...I don't even know what that means," she said frantically and furrowed her eyebrows. "Just leave me alone."

Quinn ran out, tears streaming out of her brown eyes.

Rachel had kept her head down low for most of the day, ignoring any and all contact with other human beings except teachers and Mercedes. It was best to stay quiet in this situations, or at least that's what she believed.

Her silence came to a harsh ending when a teary-eyed Quinn ran towards her, shoving people out of the way relentlessly. She reached Rachel and grabbed her by the collar, pulling her down the hall to the girls' bathroom.

Once Quinn checked to see that all the stalls were cleared, she locked the entrance and turned towards Rachel, hate pouring from her reddened eyes.

"This has to stop," she hissed, her teeth clenched in a menacing frown.

Rachel's brown eyes filled with fear, and her bottom lip quivered. She had no idea what was going on, so she couldn't think of anything appropriate to say. All she really wanted was to be anywhere but where she was.

Quinn rolled her eyes and continued, realizing that Rachel wasn't going to acknowledge her. "Your little fucking crush is ruining my life. I was perfectly happy before you came along. I was ready to start getting over Finn, become the star of my church choir, and solidify myself as the perfect daddy's little girl. Do you realize what you've done to me? Now I'm not even a virgin, and better yet I think I like girls. I actually yelled at my daddy yesterday. I don't even know what I'm doing anymore. You wrecked me without even trying," she yells, enunciating every word with a little more hatred than the last.

Rachel looked down and blinked a few tears out of her eyes. "I never meant to do any of that. I just...for some reason, I thought I had a chance with you. I'm sorry."

She turned away from her, heading towards the door, but Quinn stopped her. This time, when Rachel looked into her endless green eyes, they radiated compassion. "Rachel, don't leave," Quinn forced, her voice becoming softer with every sound. "I shouldn't have yelled. I – I'm just angry with myself for letting this happen. I tried to make Finn screw me into being straight." Both girls winced at those words, knowing they were far from Quinn's usual vocabulary. "I have feelings for you. I'm not going to deny them anymore."

Rachel looked up at Quinn, her insides screaming with twisted delight. Feelings? Quinn had _feelings_ for her! She choked up all the courage she had to say something. Anything. "What does this mean?" she asked innocently, looking down at the lettering of Quinn's Cheerios uniform.

A sharp breath seized Quinn's throat, delaying her words. No words would be able to express how she was feeling.

"It means I can't run from you anymore, Rach. I want you too much."

Her green eyes pierced the brown in Rachel's, and after a moment of lingering, she couldn't resist. She lowered her face until she was parallel with the brunette. Rachel could only stare, her face shocked and scared. "Please don't be afraid, Berry."

Something about the way Quinn teasingly hissed her last name excited Rachel. Before she could stop herself, she pulled Quinn towards her and pressed their lips together, ignoring any and all signals telling herself to stop.

And _boy_, she didn't regret it.

They pulled back only seconds later, neither wanting to ruin their first kiss. Both girls' eyes twinkled with happiness, and Quinn could've sworn she saw Rachel tear up a bit.

Quinn caught Rachel's eyes once more, and they smiled simultaneously.


	7. Chapter 7: My Star

**A/N: So I wrote this a little quickly, since I felt bad for keeping you guys waiting, especially after your kind response on the last chapter! Anyways, this takes place about a month after their encounter in the last chapter. I hope it's not too confusing, but I didn't leave a lot of loose ends which hopefully I'll try to tie up in the next chapter. **

**Once again, please do review. I'd like to know what you guys would wanna see in the future!**

* * *

"Dammit!" Rachel swore under her breath. She held her phone up to her face to see if she'd done any damage to her freshly curled hair.

She looked around and reminded herself not to curse again; this place wreaked of wealth.

She found the door she was looking for, labeled 'QR'. She smoothed out her dress and took a deep breath, nervous and excited for this date. Quinn had told her it would be a night to remember.

Rachel reached her fist up to knock on the white door, but a man in a tuxedo opened the door before she even could.

"Miss Berry?" the tuxedo man asked immediately, anxiously waiting for her approval

Rachel gave a swift nod and walked in. He stepped in front of her wordlessly and gestured her to follow him. He led her down another long hallway.

"May I ask where you're taking me?" Rachel asked him hesitantly. She had to walk double-time to match his long strides.

"Past the black room. Miss Fabray requested that you two are seated there. Correct?"

The usher did not look to see Rachel's confused expression, but kept walking until they reached a door. This one was marked in _Authorized Personnel Only._

Rachel smiled and followed him into the so-called black room. They entered it, immediately blinded from flashing lights and deafened by the upbeat pulsation. Rachel furrowed her eyebrows. Why did Quinn send her here, of all places?

She only had time to think that one though before her senses were paralyzed by the deafening beats blasting from all around her. She covered her ears, but the blinking strobe lights still persisted. It was all so overwhelming for her.

Fortunately, she was led to yet another room, which was more peaceful, and much brighter, she noticed. The tuxedo man was gone before she could ask him where they were now.

Rachel heard a soft hello and turned to her side. She came face to face with her own slice of heaven. Or at least, the human embodiment of heaven.

Standing there was a slim, blonde girl with pale green eyes and a loving smile. Her blonde ringlets were tossed into a jagged bun. She looked unreal, like a porcelain carving. Her pale skin radiated with a thin glisten of sweat and the soft shimmer of powder. She was dressed like Rachel had never seen her, loud and bold. Her torso was loosely covered by a sequin minidress, which ended midthigh. Aside from her black tights and red pumps, she was quite simple. Rachel stared at her, her eyes catching Quinn's. She looked so stunning, Rachel was having trouble containing herself. She felt rather foolish in her own simple black dress.

"Hello, Rach," said heaven, planting a soft kiss on Rachel's cheek.

"Q, you look stunning," was all she could mutter as Quinn reached a thumb up to wipe the stain of her red lipstick off Rachel's cheek.

She giggled. "You too."

Rachel was unsure what to do. "Where are we?" she asked excitedly.

Quinn gasped and looked down in response to Rachel's question. "Oh, I forgot to tell you!" she said urgently. "It's the place I like to go and relax, when my room can't cut it. It's called QWS, it's a club. We're here for dinner though, not partying. Don't worry."

Rachel thought the answer was a little vague, but she didn't ask any further. "Wow," she muttered, impressed. She was a bit taken aback by the mysterious place. "It's quite fancy."

"Nothing but the best for you, my dear." Quinn smiled kissed Rachel's neck.

"Everything looks so...expensive," Rachel said cautiously. She felt it a little foolish that someone would bother wasting money on her.

"It's for you though, so I don't mind spending the extra money."

With that, Quinn walked her to yet another room. Rachel began to wonder how big this place really was.

"Oh, yeah, and don't call me by my name. No one can know who we are."

Rachel nodded and decided not to ask why. She trusted Quinn.

They stepped through the doorway and entered an immensely elegant dining hall, evenly spaced with two-person tables. Amongst it were an array of couples, some appearing quite normal, others not so much. Rachel noticed a large amount of gay couples, along with some men who looked a little too old for their partners (male and female, she noted).

She figured it was a hiding spot of sorts, for the important people who couldn't risk their reputations. She felt a slight twinge of resentment. Quinn really wanted to make sure their secret stayed safe, didn't she? It almost felt like there was some sort of embarrassment about the relationship. Rachel's insecurity kicked in.

"Here's our table," she said, sitting down in one of the dark wood seats. Okay. Quinn was heaven no matter where they were. Rachel relaxed.

"So my codename for you is Starfruit, okay?" Quinn declared, smirking at her own joke.

Rachel turned her head in confusion. "Why Starfruit?"

"Because your name is Berry, and you're my star."

A blush crept onto Rachel's face, and her grin grew wide and proud. "My star? I think I like that better, actually."

Quinn loved making Rachel blush. She stared at Rachel's bubblegum pink lips. Rachel noticed and her blush deepened. Quinn couldn't deny how deep her feelings were at the moment. So beautiful, gorgeous and sexy with an air of innocence. She pursed her lips and stared into Rachel's eyes. Honey-amber, she liked to call them. Honey-amber with flakes of gold. Her black hair was loose and wavy. Quinn couldn't help but wonder why she hadn't caught the scent of it yet. She made a mental note to find out.

"So, why'd you think to take me here?" Rachel asked, breaking the comfortable silence.

Quinn's heart fell a little. She didn't want to have to explain. She'd have to admit everything, or it wouldn't make sense. It was so unfair. She looked into Rachel's curious eyes. Might as well get it over with.

"You know how I'm a Christian, right?" Quinn asked. She realized how stupid of a question it was right after she asked it. Of course Rachel knew that. They'd been secretly together for almost a month now.

"Of course."

Quinn took a deep breath in, giving the waiter a quick nod as he filled their glasses with red wine. Age didn't matter here. It didn't matter if they were fifteen, it was close enough to twenty-one anyway.

"It's my dad. He's really important in our church, and if he found out about us...I—he'd kill me," Quinn looked down and licked her lips. "Seriously."

"Oh, I understand. But why here?"

"It's where anyone who's anyone goes to hide themselves. See that fifty-something man over there, with the trampy little blonde?"

Rachel glanced over and grimaced. A classic gold digger situation. "Oh, I see them."

"He's a senator for Indiana. Married, with kids. Came all the way here to hide that secret. This is a very secure place."

"Wow, that's insane."

Quinn nodded sadly and shrugged. "It's amazing how bad some people are."

"So it seems," Rachel agreed. She shifted and took a sip of the bitter wine. "Wait, you said you come here by yourself sometimes. Why does it have to be here?"

"I wanted to live a little. We'll leave it at that," she said, not unkindly. She was really trying to avoid that question.

Rachel nodded understandingly. "Well I think it's perfect. Anywhere with you is perfect."

* * *

Quinn looked at the back of Rachel's head. It was now or never.

"My star," she whispered.

Rachel turned around, quickly distracted from the extravagant art hanging in front of her. "Yes?"

"I think, well...do you consider us, you know?" she asked awkwardly. She didn't know how to word these kind of things.

"You mean, like, a couple?"

Quinn nodded and smiled softly. "Yes, exactly."

A glimmer flashed in Rachel's eyes. If this night got any more perfect, she might as well die tomorrow. The food was amazing, their conversations were never dull, and Quinn had even gotten her to dance. She felt like a movie star.

"Well, I'll take that as you asking, if you take this as a yes," Rachel told her, pulling the blonde in for a hug.

Quinn had to hold herself back from jumping up and down. She pressed her lips against Rachel's and shut her eyes, soaking in the moment.

Rachel deepened their kiss as she usually did, letting her hands slide down Quinn's back and resting on her backside. Neither of them cared about who saw, because no one else really mattered anyway.

The kiss was shorter than usual, but it seemed fitting. Quinn retreated and planting one last peck on Rachel's neck.

"You're perfect," Rachel sighed and looked at her longingly. "Really...you could stop traffic, Q."

Quinn's lips twisted into a grin. "I could say the same about you, beautiful."

Rachel looked down and smiled, not only because she could feel herself falling in love with this girl, but because the same girl was saving her life without even realizing it.

**A/N: So again, I hope this wasn't too weird. Just let me know! :)**


	8. Chapter 8: Complications

**A/N: I really am terribly sorry for the hiatus I took from this story. I'd suggest rereading this fic, or at least the last chapter if you need to refresh. I promise the updates will be more frequent now that I'm back into this story!**

Rachel woke up the next day feeling like she had been hit by a truck. It could only be compared what she presumed a hangover would feel like, but of course that was the reason.

The night before had been simply magical. The unfathomable had happened. Not only had she gone on a date with Quinn Fabray, but they were _dating_. Her heart jumped to her throat at the thought. Quinn was her girlfriend.

She pranced downstairs, greeting her fathers with kisses on the cheek. "Morning, daddies," she sang, sitting down at the kitchen table. She looked down at her plate. The Saturday usual: vegan, gluten-free blueberry pancakes and two slices of veggie bacon. It smelled even more wonderful on this particular Saturday.

Hiram and Leroy Berry looked up at her, their mouths stuffed with breakfast. "Morning, love," Leroy greeted her, still focused on his food.

Rachel started her breakfast, smiling and humming as her parents chatted. She couldn't care less about their political or social or whatever conversation they happened to be having today. She was just too happy. She settled down and stared out the window, enjoying how the brilliant rays of sun illuminated every piece of Hiram's garden.

Mid-breakfast, she finally interrupted them. "You know, Dad, it's a beautiful morning. I think I'm going to go for a walk after I finish eating. Care to join me?" Rachel asked, beaming.

Hiram sighed and exchanged a look with his husband. If there was one thing Rachel couldn't understand, it was the silent conversations her fathers shared with each other. Leroy cleared his throat and shifted. "I'm all for a little family exercise, and I know you're a morning person, Rach, but you're cheerful beyond your usual," he said, pausing to take a bite of his pancake. "I'm guessing this means your date went well last night?"

"You have no idea, Daddy," she told him, giggling. Her cheeks flushed at the thought of how lucky she was that last night had even happened.

"I'm sure he's a very nice boy, honey. I'd love to meet him," Leroy answered. "Just be careful. We all know how teenage boys can be."

Rachel swallowed heavily, her mood plummeting so far she felt it in her stomach. So this was the one detail she'd forgotten. She may have just landed the most beautiful girl she'd ever laid eyes on, but her own parents couldn't share that joy. She knew her parents had no way of knowing she was gay, but it hadn't even crossed her that she'd have to tell them at some point. She'd been subconsciously hoping they would just realize it.

She decided to avoid the conversation. She wasn't ready.

"May I please be excused? I need to make a phone call," she said, throwing her napkin on her plate.

Leroy looked at her skeptically. "Of course, sweetheart, but you hardly ate anything. And who do you need to call?"

She left without a word, ignoring Leroy's pleas for her to explain herself.

She practically flew up the stairs, fighting any urges to go right back and tell them. She did something she knew she'd regret, but really needed. She just wanted to hear Quinn's voice and make sure this one twinkle in her life was actually there. From her nightstand, she grabbed her phone and dialed Quinn's number, fully knowing that Cheerios practice wasn't for another hour, so she would have to answer.

A silky smooth voice picked up on the other end after a couple rings. "Rachel?"

"Um, hey Quinn. How ya doin'?" she greeted, punching herself for being so awkward.

"One second," she answered roughly. Rachel heard shuffling on the other end, and the slam of a door.

"Sorry, I had to go to my room. My mom was listening. You know how it is. Anyway, what's up?"

Rachel ignored the fact that Quinn even mentioned her mom and just responded with the first thing that came to her mind. "Um, I wanted to say thanks for last night."

"Oh. Well, you're welcome. It was my pleasure to take you out, Rach. Thanks for joining me, and being, well, cool." Quinn sounded uneasy.

"It was fun."

"Yeah."

"So, off to Cheerio practice?" She silently cursed herself for her small talk syndrome. At this point she wasn't even sure what her original intentions were when she dialed the number.

"Um, yeah."

"Oh, nice."

They stayed silent for a moment. "Rachel, if you don't have anything to say, I'm hanging up," Quinn barked, her usual sass and impatience showing.

"Oh, sorry. I guess I don't. Bye, Quinn," Rachel said hurriedly and hung up the phone. She squeezed her eyes shut, mortified. Her fathers were suspicious of her, and now Quinn probably thought she was a complete weirdo now. She'd only managed to go one day without screwing everything up.

She played up the situation in her head, picturing every possible scenario, which all happened to end in a particularly horrible fate: Quinn breaking up with her and her fathers disowning her. She was convinced that was the final outcome, no matter what she did.

Rachel flopped back onto her bed, doing something she hadn't done for years. She fell back to sleep.

Besides to eat and pee, Rachel didn't leave her room until Monday morning, leaving her fathers utterly confused. They had no idea why their daughter had, in minutes, fallen from elated to depressed. They scheduled two therapy sessions for Rachel, but she slept through both. They didn't know what to do.

And neither did she.

On the bright side, she had made it through two seasons of One Tree Hill and four cartons of ice cream in two days - an impressive record. She still hadn't figured out why everything was getting her down so much. Ultimately, she blamed it on the universe and went back to eating.

Her Monday morning 5:30 alarm rang, telling her it was finally time to get up and actually do something. Still, she wasn't in the mood. She wasn't in the mood to look into her parents' eyes and lie to them. She wasn't in the mood to pretend like her and Quinn would be able to have an easy relationship.

But something got her out of bed. A certain beautiful, blonde something.

She followed her extensive morning routine, starting with a shower (just warm enough to tolerate, but not irritate the skin), and ending with Leroy dropping her off at McKinley with a half hour to spare. She left her belongings in her first classroom of the day, then scoured the halls for someone she knew.

She carefully avoided Kurt, then Puck, then Mercedes, realizing that the only person she wanted to spend her morning with was Quinn.

Thankfully she spotted her and pranced over. "Good morning," she greeted, smiling.

Quinn shut her locker, looking mortified. "Uh, Rach…"

"Yeah?" she responded, her smile faltering as Quinn backed away.

"You know we can't do this. Not yet," she said, looking around.

Rachel's confused look lingered. Quinn pulled her into an empty classroom.

"I'm not ready to - er - go public right now," she said, glaring down at Rachel, who looked back up at her, crushed.

"Wh-what do you mean?"

"You know exactly what I mean. Rachel, I didn't want to have to go here yet, but it's better to just face it. I like you, I want to be with you. You're fantastic and great and beautiful, but you're missing something. Neither of us are out of the closet. I'm the president of the celibacy club, for crying out loud. Our parents don't know, no one knows. As far as the school thinks, we hate each other's guts. Wouldn't it be a little suspicious if today we just started walking down the halls together like friends?"

Rachel couldn't help but noticed how much Quinn resembled a lion when she was angry. It was adorable and sexy and pathetic all in the same.

"I understand, Quinn. But I don't want to have to ignore my own girlfriend every day."

Quinn took Rachel's hand "Me either. I want to be able to hold your hand and put my arm around your waist and kiss you at my locker. But I can't. It's not my fault. There's just too much to lose. Including you. I don't say things like this very often, but I don't want to lose you."

Rachel smiled. "I know." She stepped closer to Quinn, looking around just in case by some off-chance somebody had stepped in the room. "Can I at least give my girlfriend a goodbye kiss?"

Quinn snickered and pressed her lips onto Rachel's, sending shivers down both of their spines. Neither of them were used to kissing someone they truly liked.

"I hope you have a great day," Rachel said honestly, smiling sweetly.

Quinn half-smiled. "You too."


	9. Chapter 9: Confidentiality

"Mercedes, I don't know what to do."

"Well, how am I supposed to know?"

A few days had gone by, and before they knew it, Friday had approached. It meant that her and Quinn had been together for a week now - absolutely no presents though, as much as Rachel wanted to give them - and she had made no progress in telling her parents. She'd gone into this knowing there would be bumps, but it seemed like with every day that went by, her fathers drifted away from her more and more.

And this was only after one week.

"I just need to do something," she said, her words heavy with desperation. "Anything."

Mercedes sighed, slightly regretting her choice to sit next to Rachel in the choir room. She wasn't up to listen to the drama queen's shit today. "Why don't you start by bringing Quinn over your house? That way when you do tell your dads, it won't just be some mystery girl. They'll know who Quinn is and already have seen how awesome she is," Mercedes said, closing the conversation and turning away.

Rachel nodded - it was decent advice.

As if on cue, Quinn walked into the room, her Cheerio entourage following closely behind. She took a seat right behind Rachel, Santana and Brittany on either side.

They ignored each other, both carrying on pointless banter with their friends. Rachel discussed what she'd be singing today (a heartfelt, true-to-the-song rendition of Lightweight by Demi Lovato). Quinn bragged about the two pounds she lost, and how that's going to put her back on the top of the pyramid, booting Brittany back to the bottom.

The class chatted idly, until Mr. Schuester walked in a good five minutes late, sending Rachel on a hushed rant to Mercedes about professionalism and punctuality. ("How can expect to gain our respect if he's just going to stroll in whenever he wants to?") She was silenced as soon as Mr. Schue uncapped his whiteboard marker and began today's lesson.

"Can anybody tell me what separated the 80s from any other decade?" he asked the class, not quite expecting any quality answers.

A few people tilted their heads, others rolled their eyes. They all hated his lessons about older music, they were boring and repetitive.

"Michael Jackson," Finn offered honestly, followed shortly by Puck's sarcastic theory, "Mullets."

"The birth of Miss Christina Aguilera," Kurt said adamantly, bumping fists with Mercedes.

"My grandma's short-lived heroin addiction," Brittany spewed. Santana pulled her in for a comforting side-hug.

Will turned his back, giving up on the kids, and wrote two words on the board. Power ballads. "Now, as you all know, last week I asked you all to find a ballad that showcased your best talents. Just to see, how many of you chose a song released in the 80s?"

About half the group's hands raised, including Quinn's.

"Interesting," Mr. Schuester observed, satisfied with the results. "The 80s pretty much birthed the popularity of ballads. The idea that so much emotion can be jam-packed into a few minutes of melody. It became less about the catchiness, and more about the ability to relate to the situations. Thus began the era of Whitney, Madonna, even Aerosmith put out a few ballads."

Everyone nodded, rather bemused. They were sick of Mr. Schue's glorified view of older times. Rachel's hand shot up. Will pointed to her, knowing exactly what she was about to ask.

"May I sing first?" she asked, knowing full well that she'd be the first to sing no matter what.

To everyone's surprise, Quinn interjected before Rachel got an answer. "Actually, Schue, I'd really like to sing first if that's okay with you."

Rachel's eyes widened and she lowered back into her seat, her cheeks burning red with embarrassment and curiosity. No one had ever offered to go before her.

"Sure, Quinn. What've you got for us?"

Quinn got up, smoothing her Cheerios uniform and making her way to the front of the room. She seemed so comfortable when everyone's attention was on her. Being the center of attention was her nirvana.

With her voice dripping in cockiness and sensuality all at the same time, she told the group her ballad choice.

"Secret Lovers by Atlantic Starr."

Mercedes snorted at the choice. She always inwardly thought that any R&B songs could only go to her.

Quinn began immediately, her silky voice capturing the sensuality of the song flawlessly. Rachel's jaw dropped.

Here we are, the two of us together

Taking this crazy chance to be all alone

We both know that we should not be together

She couldn't take her eyes off Quinn. She watched her prance around the room, her sexuality leaving every boy in the room smitten, and every girl overwhelmed with jealousy. She moved her hips to the beat, swinging them back and forth with grace. Rachel practically fainted watching the girl slide down to her knees with her back against the whiteboard. Quinn belted the final notes, adjusting the original composition to suit her vocals better.

The room burst into applause, earning her a standing ovation. Puck and Finn looked like they could cry, and Tina rolled her eyes at how astonished everyone was. Quinn Fabray really knew how to captivate an audience.

After the applause ended, Rachel felt the meaning of the song sink in, hitting her hard.

Quinn was telling her that their relationship wasn't meant to be.

Before she could rationalize her thoughts, Rachel ran out of the room, tears welling up in her eyes. Deep down she knew the song was in good intention, but it humiliated her. Out of all the songs Quinn could've went with, she chose a song saying that they shouldn't be together - that it's wrong.

Rachel thought they were so right.

Before she could get too caught up in her frantic thoughts, Quinn was chasing down the hall after her.

"Rachel, wait up!" she yelled, desperate.

She stopped and turned to face her. "What was that, Quinn?" Rachel yelled, the tears beginning to fall down her cheeks, cutting lines in her makeup. "You embarrassed me."

Quinn's eyes widened, regret pouring into them. She clearly hadn't realized her mistake. "I - I was just trying to make it easier." The girl who had just stolen everyone's heart minutes earlier was standing before Rachel, looking like a beaten down puppy.

"That song." Rachel paused and swallowed the enormous lump in her throat, ignoring Quinn's comment. "Is that how you really feel about us?"

Quinn looked around, searching for words. "Well, yeah. I think we belong together," she said sincerely. "Against the odds."

Rachel stayed silent, her arms crossed. She didn't understand.

"Listen, Rach. I was really just trying to make things easier for you, and us."

"Make what easier?" Rachel pleaded, dying for answers.

Quinn took Rachel's hand and started walking back to the choir room. "I want the class to know about us. If anyone deserves to know, it should be them. They wouldn't judge us."

Rachel knew that wasn't true at all, actually. The class had made it pretty obvious that they did not like her. "Quinn, you can't just make that decision without asking me first," Rachel stated, trying not to sound as furious as she felt. She didn't want to be mad at her, but these feelings had been building up and Rachel was never very good and containing herself.

"What do you mean?" Quinn asked, her anger clearly growing as well. Nobody stood up to Quinn Fabray.

Rachel straightened her posture and stopped them as they neared the choir room, making sure they were just out of sight. "You can't just decide that we're coming out. The only people in that room that know about me are Kurt and Mercedes. And I think Santana might have suspicions, but whatever," Rachel said, outraged. She could barely even come out to her two best friends, yet alone a whole room of people that already had enough reasons to hate her (because she was talented, obviously).

"I'm sorry. I - I guess I didn't think about that. I'm not very good at this whole relationship thing yet," Quinn said. Rachel could've sworn she saw a tear in her eye. It was sorry sight - Quinn Fabray, the head cheerleader and Queen Bee, was breaking down before her eyes. Rachel felt a wave of guilt wash over her.

"I think you're great, Q," Rachel assured her, hoping Quinn wouldn't start to cry. She wouldn't be able to bear the sight. "And I think we should go tell them. You're absolutely right. They deserve to know."

Quinn smiled and kissed Rachel on the cheek. "Let's do this."

Together they walked into the choir room, everyone still shocked from their little scene.

"Rachel, Quinn, are you alright?" Mr. Schuester asked with concern, running over. Rachel felt a shiver run through her spine at the sound of her name with Quinn's.

Quinn shrugged him off, walking to the center of the room with just as much confidence as usual. "Rachel and I have something to say." Rachel kept her eyes on the floor, pretending she was anywhere but here, doing anything but this. Her confidence wasn't as prevalent as Quinn's.

"There's been some rumors floating around here," she started, bossy and HBIC-ish as ever, her eyes falling on skeptical Santana. "Rest assured, I am not in love with Santana, nor am I going to get back together with Finn." The words seemed to slap Finn across the face, leaving him looking devastated. "Er, sorry Finn. Didn't mean to be so blunt."

Rachel looked up and chimed in, not wanting to leave Quinn with everything to say. "You guys, I'm sorry I've been acting weird lately. I know you've all missed my spunk and star quality, but I just haven't been up to it while I'm keeping this secret with Quinn," she said, her pompous statement earning a few scoffs.

"What are you two getting at?" Santana pitched in, rolling her eyes.

"Are you pregnant?" Puck asked, then exchanged a high five with Santana.

Quinn took a deep breath, realizing how much of a production they were making. She wanted it over with, before the jokes got really hurtful. "Rachel and I, well, we're, um…together."

Everyone's eyes widened, including Mr. Schuester's. Brittany screamed. Puck started clapping, satisfied. Him and Finn exchanged a devious look.

"What do you mean?" Santana asked, testy.

Quinn looked at her, silently cursing her for interrogating them like this. Why couldn't she just figure it out?

"She means we're dating. Got it?" Rachel answered snippily.

Santana laughed sarcastically. "Damn, Berry. How'd you land Q? I mean, I didn't even know you were a dyke to begin with."

"That's enough, girls," Mr. Schue interjected, searing with anger after Santana's ignorant comment.

She backed down after that. "Damn, everyone's got an attitude these days," she whispered to Brittany, who just gave her a puzzled look.

Mr. Schuester stepped in to fill the awkward silence looming in the room after their big relevation. "Well, girls, I'm very proud of you two for standing up like that, and I wish both of you well. Unfortunately, we can't dwell on your personal lives for too long today; Principal Figgins has asked us to perform at the pep rally next week. We've got to put together a three-song setlist by the end of class."

Rachel sat back down, this time Quinn accompanied her. Although it didn't go so well, somehow she felt liberated. She could, somewhat comfortably, sit next to her girlfriend now, maybe even hold her hand. That was much more than she expected going into the day. It was progress.

That progress was enough to keep her going.


End file.
